I also took a little hiatus from blogging. I still wrote, just didn’t publish anything. Writing is like therapy for me. It helps to get my thoughts out “on paper” and then they stop rolling around in my head. So, back to the title – yes, I’ve been Fakebooking. In case you don’t know what that means, it’s when you post on social media (mainly Facebook), but don’t actually share your real life, mostly by posting positive things when that might be far from what’s really going on in your world.
You know those movies where you fall in love with the main character? You think she’s awesome. You are rooting for her to succeed. You want things to work out for her. And then something bad happens to her. You feel sad, you can empathize, you keep watching, waiting for her to push through the crisis to the other side and emerge even better than she was before. And then another bad thing happens…and another…and another..and an.oth.er. And suddenly, you think “Ok, at first I felt sorry for her, I wanted her to make it through, but now, this is just over the top and unrealistic. This many bad things don’t keep happening to one person like that.” And now, you’re not really invested in wanting her to succeed. You don’t really care anymore. Maybe the sheer ridiculousness of her situation has passed from tragic to laughable. After all, it’s just a movie. Except, that’s been my life for the last 4 months. For real, I quit telling even my best friend about everything that was going on because it was so ridiculous even I couldn’t believe it. But it was true. It was real life and it was happening to me. And that’s where the Fakebooking comes in and why it was actually a good thing.
There were days I didn’t think a single positive thing could/would happen. Days where I dreaded hearing my phone ring or the little beep of a text message. Days I didn’t want to open my email. But if you read my Facebook posts, you’d never know. Why? Because I forced myself to find something, anything, any sliver of good in my day to post about. And it helped. Well, maybe it didn’t help you… I don’t know. 🙂 But it helped me. It made me see that there were still things to be grateful for. That I still had happy moments in the midst of the hard times.
If you’ve been around here for any length of time, you know I’m all for being real, sharing your story, being relatable, and accessible. That’s scary for me because sometimes life is messy, and we tend to want to hide our mess. I’m learning that sharing the messy stuff here with you is what brings hope to others whose lives are a little bit messy, too. I’m not sure what all I will take away from this particularly messy season. Maybe it’s just learning to hold on to the life preserver of Jesus when wave after wave crashes against you and you can’t see the shore. I know at some point, I’ll look back and see clearly. For now, I am choosing courage as I face some daunting circumstances and am daily finding something positive to remind myself that God is still good even when life is hard. (the editor in me wanted to replace “messy” with another word rather than use it 5 times in 3 sentences, but it was really the word that fit best so I left it 🙂 )
I got this shirt last week. I ordered it from Cents of Style. Crystal Paine (Money Saving Mom) created it. I love it!! I would wear it every day if that were at all socially acceptable. (And have I mentioned that my story is going to be in her new book that comes out in November??? I am super excited!!!…and also a little nervous) I didn’t quite know how fitting these words would actually be when I ordered it 3 weeks ago:
In this season, I am choosing courage, and I want you to choose courage. Maybe you’re in a place right now where you feel like that’s just too much for you. You just can’t do it. That’s ok! I’ve been there. Try to find something, anything, no matter how small, that is going right in your life and focus on that. Seeing the good rebuilds your hope and makes you stronger. It then becomes a little easier to choose courage.
So, today, I’m praying for you. My prayer is that your eyes would be open to see the good things in your life, even if the bad things are clamoring for your attention; that if your hope has been shattered in hardship, it would be rebuilt. If you have to Fakebook for awhile to keep that focus – go for it! If you feel like you need a bigger support team and reach out to your friends in your posts, that’s ok, too! You won’t get any guilt trips from me as you walk the road you’re on. (I guess this blog post is really me doing that between all the happy pictures and fascinating updates I usually post 🙂 ) I pray that you would be able to Choose Courage in the face of fear. Believe it or not, I really do pray for you often, my friends and readers, because I care about you. You have what it takes to do this. I believe in you!
Keep Dreaming ~
PS. I get a lot of questions about what I actually do for a living. I also get a lot of questions about how to homeschool when you are working from home. The things I write about don’t usually have anything to do with my job, so I know it can be confusing. The story that Crystal Paine is including in her book is a very shortened version of how I got to this point of being able to stay at home, as a single mom, homeschooling and working from home full time. Next week, I will begin a short series about what I do and how I started that I think will encourage you.