I have been gone for awhile. Well, not really gone… just not writing on the blog. I have missed it!! But sometimes, the circumstances of life dictate that you step back from some things so you can fully concentrate on others. I had to take a break from writing. Not because it’s hard (you all know I love to write!); just because it was another thing to do on the hugely long list of To Do’s. There have been some big transitions around here…
First, this happened…
Moving in itself is a huge undertaking. Moving as a single mom is pretty much a
nightmare lots of fun ton.of.work. My boys helped me and so did my friends, but the majority of the work fell on me. I am still renting for now, but this move was a major step of faith for me. It’s the first “house” I’ve been in with just me and the under 18 crowd. I am now responsible to mow my lawn (which was quite comical the first time as I was out in my driveway with the lawn mower and the instruction manual trying to figure out how to start it and not cut off any limbs) and take care of basic house maintenance. And judging by the condition of the place when I moved in, I’m going to assume the previous tenant had a deep-seated aversion to cleaning…and possibly ran a dog kennel from home. I have spent the last 7 weeks scrubbing the house from top to bottom and most recently spent an entire afternoon just sweeping up spiders in the garage. I think the most frustrating thing for me has been the amount of steps it takes to do anything when you first move –
Running out of clean underwear? Hook up the washer and dryer. Realize your dryer vent doesn’t reach to the pipe. Go to Walmart and buy a dryer vent. Go home and hook it up. Try to remember which box holds the laundry detergent. Dig it out. Move the stacks of boxes in the bedroom so you can separate the clothes. Actually do the laundry.
Need to unpack your food so you can finally cook at home and stop spending a bajillion dollars a week to eat out? Realize that you don’t have enough cupboard space for your food AND your dishes. Research pantry cabinets online. Go to Home Depot. Buy a pantry cabinet. Try hard not to hurt yourself or gouge a huge hole in the wall while you and your 17 year old bring in the 100 lb box containing the cabinet and take it upstairs (it’s a bi-level house so you either go up or down stairs to get to anything). Spend a couple of hours putting the cabinet together. Realize putting the door on is way harder than it should be. Drop said door on your foot. Finish cabinet. Put food away. Get out ice pack and rest for the evening.
You get my drift 🙂
To add to the fun, the kids and I decided (against our wills) to do this for 3+ weeks after we moved:
During which time, I fell terribly behind on…well…everything. And for someone who doesn’t like change, even if it’s a good change, the transition has been very overwhelming. Sometimes, the only thing getting me through was remembering the deep sense of peace that God had brought us to this home at this time.
When you’re going through changes, it can be easy to feel like you’re losing your grip. I have definitely had days where I just felt like I was never going to get my life under control again. It can get easy to only see the hard and miss the wonderful. I heard someone say once that you should never make a big life decision when you’re in the middle of transition. I think that’s good advice. When the ground is shifting under your feet and you’re in the thick of changes with emotions often running high, it’s not the best time to be making life altering choices. Transition can often be exhausting and overwhelming and scary, even if it’s a good thing. But that time of transition will end. You will get to the other side. I know all I wanted was the easy way out in every area of life during the moving/plague-ridden month of October. But the easy way out is often not the best choice. So instead, I just kept walking. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Holding onto hope that I would soon come out of the transition period and be on solid ground once again.
Even though I’ve been frustrated by how much there has been to do with the move (and how long it has taken me to do it…I will someday learn to give myself some grace that I cannot be all things to all people at all times…it’s a process 🙂 ), I walk around my house and thank God for bringing us here. It feels like “home” and I hope to stay for a good while.
There’s an old English proverb that says, “A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor”. That came up on my quote-a-day calendar during October and, as much as we would all like smooth seas, it is true – the rough places in life, those times of transition, that’s where our character is formed. That’s where we build strength, integrity, perseverance, faith, the ability to look beyond our present circumstances to the place we want to be. If you are going through a time of transition, I want to encourage you to keep holding on. Even good transitions can make us feel as if we’re losing our grasp. It’s tough. I definitely get it! But there will come a time when the transitioning is over and you can feel the ground beneath you begin to steady. And you’ll be glad you didn’t give up during the hard; during the time when you couldn’t see a clear path or a sure future. I know you can do it! I believe in you!
Keep Dreaming ~